So I have returned at last ...

GLEN: And look what kind of a mess this country has gotten into while I was gone.

SOCRATES: Being an Athenian myself, thanks be to Zeus, I'd have to note that you Americans have no idea what a real mess looks like.

CRITO: You're absolutely right, Socrates. Wait'll he sees what Phaedo did to the guest room.

SOCRATES: You want to talk about the sad state of the world? Have a few beers with Demosthenes some time. By which I mean, don't.

CRITO: That's for sure. He starts out talking about Rule of Law, then he just raves about how Meidias stole his lawn furniture.

SOCRATES: Which is very American of him, I think. And speaking of ersatz Americans, we might as well have the Romans over and listen to Cicero and Tacitus bitch and moan all night.

CRITO: Very true, Socrates. You are so wise.

GLEN: Things have really changed around here, I can see.

SOCRATES: Exactly.