Affordable PEST Control

Are you bothered by so-called Post Election Selection Trauma? Too depressed to fill out passport application forms? Can't afford expensive, drug-intensive therapy? Can't figure out how to attach a vacuum cleaner hose to the exhaust pipe of your Volvo?

Order our home treatment kit for only $99.99 and cure yourself now. Kit includes:

1. 20 minute ATT phone card. So you can call somebody who freaking cares.
2. GET A LIFE poster. We recommend that you spend a couple of hours a day studying the poster carefully.
3. Who's Who in Organized Crime. This handy book will help you find people who provide strongarm and loan sharking services in your community. For 20 bucks, one of these guys will give you the swift kick in the butt that you so desperately need.