Osama bin Laden to be purged from voter rolls in Broward County

That following today's revelation that he is not dead. Congratulations to Dan Darling who threw a bucket of cold water on our pro-death speculations last week. Apparently, while the rest of us were running amok with our irresponsible conjectures, he had the good sense to e-mail Hell and just ask.

Still waiting for an official statement from chief Democratic Ayatollah, Barbra Streisand. On Tuesday, she drank a whole quart of Old Crow for lunch and broke the Caps Lock key on her computer:

BUSH INVADED IRAQ WITH THE RATIONALE OF IMAGINARY WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION AND IGNORED THE REAL THREAT IN AFGHANNISTAN [sic]. NOW WE HAVE A TERRORIST BREEDING GROUND IN THE MIDDLE EAST AND OSAMA BIN LADEN AND ABU MUSSAB AL-ZARQAWI, A RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORIST, RUNNING FREE.

Of course, al-Zarqawi is "running free" (for the moment) in Iraq, not the imaginary country of "Afghannistan". It is central to the Democrats' entire vision of the War on Terror to insist that there is no connection whatsover between Iraq and that other what-do-you-call-it place, so it doesn't help when one of their leading intellectuals confounds the two.

And alleged Kerry supporter Andrew Sullivan gets all demoralized: "Bummer. I'd hoped he was buried under rubble. What to make of the rant? The parroting of idiotic Michael Moore points was a little pathetic for an alleged spiritual mastermind."

Charles Johnson is having none of that defeatism, though:

After being so certain for the past three years that Osama bin Laden had been atomized by the blast of a daisy cutter in Tora Bora, I admit to some disappointment that he’s still consuming oxygen and frightening small children.

But look on the bright side. Instead of never knowing the truth, now we may get to see this creature captured or killed for good and all ... If Bush is reelected.

I can add no more at this point, except to reprise the Christmas song I wrote for Osama bin Laden three years ago.

HAVE A TORA BORA CHRISTMAS
(To the tune of "Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas") --- cue Burl Ives:

Oh, the Taliban will miss you,
For the end is coming fast;
Way down below, where martyrs go,
They'll ship your sorry ass.
The Great Satan's mighty pissed off,
So light out for the hills,
'Neath vapor trails and deadly hails
Of everything that kills.

Oh, no, the missiles go
Screaming overhead;
Special Forces search for you,
Satan wants you dead.
'Cause Allah thinks you're worthless,
And Jesus hates you, too,
So why not bomb you, make atomic Islamic pastrami of you?

Say hello to Adolf Hitler,
You'll be the best of friends.
Way down below, you'll shovel coal
And lament your tragic ends.
Say hello to Josef Stalin,
You'll be his latest bitch;
It's maggot stew and Spam for you
And a bath of burning pitch.

"Oh no!" the peaceniks moan,
"This is genocide!"
Nobody listens, though,
So kiss your ass good-bye.
'Cause Uncle Sam's a major hard-on,
And God's an angry Jew,
So why not bomb you, make atomic Islamic pastrami ... of you?

UPDATE: OSAMA BIN LADEN, MOORE-ON. Dan Darling adds at Winds of Change: "The talking points likely seemed Michael Moore-ish because that was their likely point of origin. The merits or lack thereof of Fahrenheit 9/11 aside, the film has received wide distribution abroad and it is quite possible that bin Laden saw it and adapted some of the criticisms in it to suit his own twisted ends."

Well, he was right before.